I got the dreaded question, I think I dread it as much as the boys do. It is a harmless innocent question on the part of the person who asked, but it stirs up the ugh in me. Is your curiosity peaked? Yea well here goes…”so are the boys attending college?” Me, “um well uh they plan to, but not at the moment, um er yea well they are not quite sure what they want to do yet, Aaron did decide to take some basis courses and Nolan will probably start in January taking business courses.”
So why if I had some sort of answer does this stir up guilt, angst and a bit of who cares in me. I liken it to the question of years ago, “oh are they all your?” Seriously dude did you just ask me if my small lot of 4 kiddos was all mine?” People are weird. Anyway this question of going to college always gets me on the defense. Why, you ask, well because I don’t equate college to success and I don’t feel that my children will not be great unless they go to college. I think they are smart, bright, creative and head strong, all gifts that will get them far in life. Do I think additional learning will harm them, hell no! However, I would like them to be open to alternative ways of gaining that knowledge. I have found so many amazing places online lately with tips and tools for getting a free education or one at a minimal cost. I don’t believe a big mountain of student loans will make for a joyful life down the road. Now if you plan on being a doctor, lawyer or another career that has the need for the expense of college then YES by all means go and put your heart and sole into it.
I don’t want my children to be something big for me, they are not here to make me look good they are here on this earth to travel their own paths not mine. Yes of course we guide them but I refuse to push them down a path just because I feel better about it or it makes me look like a great parent, heck, I wasn’t perfect when they were little why start now.
So you are thinking what do I want them to do and why are you so adverse to college, I am not adverse to it I just don’t think it is the be all and end all to a happy life. So even though my heart skipped a beat when the question was asked and I felt like maybe a better parent would have pushed their kids off to college so I could feel better about myself when asked that question, I survived it and I didn’t come home and tell my boys that had to start school now or their lives wouldn’t turn out great. Actually just the opposite happened, someone shared an article with me and that led to this website – Uncollege and to many resources for alternative education and I have even found a few programs for my younger kiddos in their areas of interest. So along with my children I am learning everyday to be open to all ways of learning and I will keep looking and sharing with my children and here, of course, of my magical and fun spots to learn all sorts of new things.
The path for some of my children may lead to college but it will be in their time, not mine or anyone else’s, or it may lead to another path but either way it will be their path. I am always beyond proud of my children.
Peace & Happiness
Dawn =)
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| Samantha working on learning to edit photos. |
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